Around this time of year, and today especially, I am glad I haven’t liked Halloween since I was a pre-teen (no offense to my Halloween lovers out there). Daddy, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of you or something you said or did to make me or someone else laugh. A day that goes by that my heart doesn’t ache for your warmth to still be in this cold, cruel world. You were so kind and so giving, and so forgiving. You unselfishly did for and cared for others. Since losing you, I definitely cling to my family more and to my friends more. You taught me to eliminate the Takers who don’t deserve me, and I do that now more than ever. I tolerate less bs and less people full of it and of themselves. It’s what happens when you lose someone of this caliber. It opens your eyes a lot more to those around you and whom you quickly decide your effort goes into or not, and who is worth remaining in your life or not. It helps you really ensure that what you do in career and life is really what you deserve and what you want to be doing. Especially since we had these talks often.
Oh, how I wish we could share our new journey with you in person! I can hear you now telling us how proud you are of both of us, and I can see that larger-than-life smile of yours beaming with pride. We really miss you and we talk about you often. The other day I was thinking of one of our times together and it was like you were right in the room with me. I thought about you on Sunday while watching football, and how I miss watching it and chatting about it with you, and us coaching and yelling at the Packers from the sidelines (i.e. the couch), and it broke my heart into tiny little pieces. I will never forget where I was, what I was doing, the words my Auntie said to me when she called me, or arriving at the hospital and seeing my Cousin, then crumpling to the floor when I got the news.
I have so many great memories to replace those awful, still-unbelievable ones, yet my life has been forever changed without you in it. Three years has gone by so quickly, and yet it feels like so much longer too. Missing you today and every day Daddy. They say it gets easier, but it doesn’t. It doesn’t at all. You just learn how to live without someone you love because you have no choice. I know you’re in a better place though watching over us and I will always be warmed inside by the thought of you watching over us. Love you, Dad! I’ll process and reflect throughout the day, but so that I don’t cry at work, I’m just going to go out and do what I do well- For you and to make you proud. I’m going to pour every ounce of sadness into rocking this day like I’m so ready to do! I love and miss you so much!!! 😘😇😪💔
About the Author
Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I have a zeal for life, a love of family and friends, nature, and a love of laughter. I frequently laugh myself into tears and it makes me laugh even harder. My best friends love this about me. I love music, travel, new experiences, the Arts, and taking photos to capture and share precious and unique moments. I'm an admitted-Selfie Queen thanks to one of my girlfriends (you know who you are). I love exercise, trying new restaurants and recipes, and I love to dance! I embrace my world fully and everything around me, and hold it all near and dear, as if it's the last time I'll see or experience any of it.